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I suffer from a disease.
It creeps past bedtime
through fine ridges between threads
of winter blankets
and gets to me
in that deep pit
on the left side of my chest
where once used to be
a beating organ,
just essential for survival,
Until you were felt.
Pain exists there, as I know
like a thorny autumn bark
And refuses to leave
till I promise
to every inch of me
part by part
one day they'd be home
reviving beneath your skin,
between your breaths
Spring would emerge
long caught in limbo
But presently,
I suffer from a disease
It's called loneliness
And the only cure I know
Recent posts

Trance and Tranquility

You tell me there is fire between my legs
that sets your soul ablaze
My fire yearns to quench
And I imagine you to be true
In the middle of work cacophony
And when I return
To a homeless apartment,
through lonely sidewalks and ghastly silences.
In brief escape,
I still beg you to take me in trance
When you pick up my broken remains in tight embraces.
I imagine you to be true
And feel the love tranquilizers amidst cut throat emotions
At 3 a.m
mid sleep
I imagine the damp smell of your shirt
Startled, I wake up
But why is there a hole in my heart?


On chilly foggy nights
As I trace lonely roads
unadorned, except for shapeless trees
and eerie silences,
I half wait for you
To come
Stand before me
And re-kindle
Whatever was kept off till now.


That sleep leaves me barren on unforeseeable whispers,  doesn't bother me That anxiety attacks on mid nights like this,  doesn't really bother me You know, that  tingly feeling  of fear and uncertainty  creeps up at the back of my throat  and travels through the gut like a vile poison,  and it doesn't bother me either What does, is that I calm fiery heartbeats  by promising myself that two fortnights later  I would be in your arms  and the wetness of your lips on my drought skin  would make it easier to pass nights as these. What really bothers me is that  I promised myself not to fall in love, ever, not even remotely,
And look, where we are.


With her dreams cradled on eyelids,
sleepless nights have been spent.
With her crooning, I held inward,
a sober whiskey drained.
Between sonnets to her eyes
and musings of her touch,
the heart had been defiant on evenings
I had seen too much.
Of shadows I quest
and dreams devour,
My heart races through the night
And love lulls me to a soothing shore.

I wake under the sultry sun
burning me to rust
And then, I find myself running again
For escape, I must.

A Bit Of Me

When I leave I shall have left,
No footprints on sand
No ripples on still blue waters
No images on mirrors
So when I leave,
Can I leave a bit of me with you?


The night I stared at the heavenward blue,
The night my heart had wept for you.
Stranded on that sooty black
A pair of stars up and high
I knew I loved, I remember those eyes
But who, at all was the answer to my cries
The glitter his eyes had cast in glee
Her words had stuck like dust on me.

Shady ghosts arrived to veil
Till i finally caught the trail...

She was the answers to all my prayers
The fingers that gnawed deep into my layers
She was the dawn to my deathly nights
She was the star, even from long afar
that drenched me in an eternal light.